Bart: Wow, my father an astronaut. I feel so full of...what's the opposite of shame?

Marge: Pride?

Bart: No, not that far from shame.

Homer: [quavering] Less shame?

Bart: [happy] Yeah...

All I have to say is thank you, USA.

Last night was a great moment for everyone. You couldn't wipe the smile off my face, and it was more than just "the guy I was voting for won" (hmm.. a new feeling). It's something so special that you can't ignore what a big deal this is for a lot of reasons. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is a golden opportunity for all of us. For the world. Look, Bush just about totaled the country over the last eight years. All I know is that this politician has made a damn good case for me to give him a chance.

McCain folks, I'm very proud of most of you, too. You've been incredibly gracious about the loss, and it served to remind me that somewhere beyond the noise of his campaign, there was still a guy somewhere who, not too long ago, the Democrats were hoping to make John Kerry's running mate.

To the few of you who sent rude messages, I'll give you a few more days to mourn. After that, I suggest you start removing the braces from your brains, wash your mouths out with a bar of soap, and get out a little more. A lot more.

Anyway, I think we can all agree that with the way things have been going, there's a hell of a lot of work to be done.. no time to act like a bunch of crybabies now.

Our friend Carlos deserves congratulations. Not only does he have impeccable taste in music, but he should be commended for his prescience. he's been working his ass off on the Obama campaign from the very beginning. Kudos to you, guy.

Sen. McCain, good speech last night. You're a good man. You lost the plot, yes, but with your speech last night you reminded me that when you go back to the Senate you may do some good yet. The "Reverse Maverick" doesn't suit you.

And Barack... congratulations. This is great news, and I can't wait till you're sworn in. If there's anything else I can say to you, here are some words of wisdom Hugh "The Body" Wyman imparted to me during the recording of Leave Your Light On that have helped me in life:

DON'T FUCK THIS UP OR I'LL BAZOOKA FUCKKILL YOUR PUPPIES. TWICE.

(Something like that.)

Cheers,
Henry